Here’s a rewording.
Rush. Can traverse through units. Traversed units are pushed aside randomly and take damage equal to this minion’s health.
It now fits in the card text space, but it’s still packed.
Edit: combine your wording and mine, it’s gonna be good.
Rush: Can move through or onto units, if it does units are moved one space randomly and take damage equal to this minions health.
Day 1 of the contest, here are some submissions that caught my attention:
@deathsadvocate 's Titan Warbeast:
Some time ago, I had a similar idea in my mind and I really like your execution.
@elPatoPoderoso 's Healing Mystic Memorial Hospital:
The name of this might bring a slight smile to your face, but let’s be objective: It’s a horrible name ^^ The design itself, however, is super interesting and unique. The wording is clear, but it may need a bit of finetuning when it comes to the balance. As of now, paying 5 mana for a rather fragile structure that has only situational immediate impact seems like a bad play in most cases. Keep improving, I want to see this in the finale! 
@MEgix 's Essence Taker
Yaas, I love cards with strong themes, and this card definitely has one. Seems pretty balanced and well designed.
@improbableblob 's Logcrusher
Another thematic card that uses a negative movement effect to compensate for higher-than-normal stats. I like it.
This is it for now. I am looking forward to seeing a lot more interesting submissions.
And please note: While I am the host of this contest, I am nothing more; I am not in the jury and can’t influence them in any way. So to all that were mentioned by me right now, don’t feel to safe. My opinion means nothing in this contest 
I’m hurt. I cannot tell you how many times Healing Mystic has helped a minion go 2 for 1, or gone 2 for 1 by itself, or given me 1 more turn. If any card deserves a memorial hospital, Healing Mystic does. And the acronym is a palindrome.
In conclusion, Healing Mystic Memorial Hospital is a great name, and Healing Mystic:
No love for Creeping Reaper? 
(Actually, I can’t blame you. He’s a monster )
Alright, I’m gonna start making my rounds.
I think you improved it. My only problem with it is that it is essentially a full board clear , or close to, for 5 mana and the drawback isn’t severe enough because of two reasons
The only decks which would like the extra mana, i.e. aggro, you won’t want to use this card against because they have no board for you to erase.
If the enemy has no minions, you have no minions or both of your minions aren’t close enough, you basically get a full board clear for free.
Some further suggestions for this card would be to make the cost 6 mana or make the damage -2/-2 again. Also, find another way to make this card movement related because as it right now, the better version of this (although not that good in the first place) is to simply give the opponent +1 mana and then board clear. The moving minions part is too complicated and highly manipulable in your favor.
I’m kind of surprised you haven’t seen this, but this is broken as fuck in a Strategos deck. This on 5 mana and then Jax Truesight next turn. You wouldn’t need to run any swarm cards either so imagine Healyonar doing their thing early game and then bam. Seems to me the entire concept needs to be reworked.
I really want this to be a card because Songhai midrange could really use a solid 4 drop. Unfortunately, as it is right now, this looks tilting to play against but at the same time maybe it’s not as you can play around it pretty well by avoiding the rows and columns this card is in. Only changes I would maybe suggest is a stat decrease seeing as how it gains +1/+1 everytime it moves. 5 health is good and the the attack should be between 3-4. Overall, I really like your card, good job!
I don’t know, I think this card is a little underpowered but at the same time overpowered. The reason why it looks underpowered is because it has weak stats and poor ability but it also looks overpowered because rush and celerity on one minion is just abuse waiting to happen. First, I think it should have celerity taken off. It will be really complicated to balance this minion if it has celerity.
After that, I am not sure. I don’t want it to be 4 mana because on an empty board it would be very annoying but I don’t think it would be broken as 4 mana so long as you keep it a 2/3, maybe even make it a 1/3 to make sure rush will not be abused for offensive purposes? Probably not necessary. There’s a lot of good potential in this card but it’s also walking a very fine line and I am erring on the side of caution.
Part Two below
The design of this card is very cool, but scary to play against. I would prefer lowering the health of it so removing it is a little easier because if you don’t, all minions summoned after this card with 4 health just get destroyed which is a bit ridiculous and if they have above 4, they will be easy pickings to kill with Skorn and the like.
Something that I think would really make this card spicier (though not necessarily better or worse) would be to make the ability effect all minions so you are forced to move your minions and you also cannot play walls with this card on the board. That would be very interesting to see for sure.
EDIT: Just realized that this card basically completely destroys oblyske and wall decks. Definitely a card to be reckoned with but I don’t see it being absolutely destructive.
I like this card because it is zeal support which is always cool to see. I will say though that this looks kind of broken because you can play this in the back and then summon minion after minion with zeal and have 3/5 provokes, 3/3 2 manas, 3/4 ranges, etc.
My suggestion for this card would be to lower the health and maybe lower the attack as 6 health and 3 attack is nasty to deal with in addition to perma zealed minions. If you keep the ability as is, I think upping it to 6 mana would be good. The problem is that there are already really good lyonar decks that focus on zeal so this card which enables it even more at only 4 mana is concerning. The dying wish is weird, I don’t know if it really makes a difference in the card. I would probably get rid of it unless you’re dead set on maintaining lore.
Another nerf that it could have is making the ability an opening gambit instead. But I don’t think it needs this one at all. Also, you can take out the part of the card that says “regardless of whether they are nearby your general or not”, this is already assumed.
A cool name I thought of for your card was “Desert Storm” or “Desert Winds” or something of that type. I don’t know how I feel about board wide 2 damage ping, it looks really annoying but it is also 3 mana. I will leave it alone for now because I am not too sure about the ramifications of this card, maybe a non biased vet main can say more.
Also, some better wording for the last part of the card would be “Enemies near your general are pushed away one space randomly”
I really like the concept of this card giving a bit of much needed support to movehai. That being said, this card isn’t all that great and seems like a win-more card if even that. The biggest problem with it is that it is a combo piece that does nothing without jux/MSD and a minion on the board. Even then, moving around bakezori with this is pointless because you would be doing all this set-up just to draw some cards? Flamewreath combos is best scenario but like I said, it’s an insane amount of set-up for such a small combo. Playing Onyx Jaguar would give you much more value with immediate effects on the board.
First suggestion is to make the card 4 mana and keep the effect because you can only proc it with spells. On top of that, there’s not much you want to be moving other than Flamewreath which will be your turn 4 anyways or Onyx Jaguar which is your turn 5 making this card your turn 6 at the earliest. Early game, it’s just a tempo loss that could possibly cost you the game against faster decks or late game decks. Maybe even make it 3 mana. Like I said, without jaguar/flamewreath AND a movement spell, the card is sort of irrelevant to your opponent who either has fault already out or is ripping your face off with 10 attack ziran.
The second suggestion is to keep the mana cost but make the ability proc just by moving making it so that all of your minions (only minions though, not the general) can move twice. The wording would change as “Your minions can move twice”. Important distinguishes to make:
Letting your minions move a bit more for 5 mana might be a little too strong though so some possible nerfs could be making it 6 mana but at that cost, this card is not strong at all. Regardless of my above suggestions, I think making this card a 3/3 or 3/4 or 2/4 would be more in line with how strong it could potentially be.
This card is somewhat interesting but you really want to be doing more at 4 mana than this. I think the best suggestion for this card would be making it 3 mana and 3/3 as a 4 attack able to move almost anywhere is a little scary in addition to the perma stun part of it. Also, maybe make it have “Dying Wish: Unstun the previously targeted enemy minion”? The wording is horrible but it should be something like that because permanently stunning something in addition to having a body on the board is pretty annoying.
Something you should consider as well is, do you want to make this card’s ability an opening gambit or a regular ability? If it is an opening gambit, then the ability can be somewhat negated by dispelling the minion being affected. If it is a regular ability, then the effect can only be rid of by dispelling this card. I don’t think it matters too much either way, but it’s something to think about.
I’m not sure if this is a meme card. I will just assume you are being serious and say that this card is horribly bad. I would make it 2 mana and 2/3 at the very least. Even then, I doubt this will see too much play in any vet deck.
I have given a good amount of thought about this card. I am, more than any other faction, wary about giving anything to Magmar as they already have really good stuff so I really thought about how good this card would be and how appropriate it’s mana cost is. I think this card is not all that strong for 8 mana. The most common scenario I see with this card is not trying to clear board but rather to go face and the most damage this could likely do with really lucky set-up is around 12 (a 4 attack minion hitting the enemy general 3 times).
With that in mind, I don’t think this card would see much play because it requires too much set-up and is very circumstantial. Thus, I have three suggestions for this card:
The first is keeping the mana cost but making all of your minions advance starting with the ones closest to the enemy’s edge of the board. This would make the card a bit more impactful for 8 mana and the best part? Apex memes, although it could be more than a meme, who knows? If you choose this, you can name this card “Call of the Wild” or “Stampede” or “Jungle Rush”.
The second suggestion is simply bringing the mana cost back to 6. I don’t know if this would be too strong because once again, this is a very circumstantial card to include in your deck, especially for 6 mana. But at the same time, I can imagine it doing some damage as well as clearing board with the proper set-up.
A third suggestion, to make the card more interesting, is to make the targeted minion(s) receive a buff of +x/+x but the damage the minion(s) deal also affects friendly minions and generals. I think this would be a lot more fun to play with just to see all the wreckage and destruction which is at the same time symbolic of the faction itself.
I can see people being titled over a buffed Ragebinder just mowing over all of their minions but at the same time, if this card ever truly became popular, it is not that hard to play around.
While I like the card’s design, this has nothing to do with movement. That being said, I still think the card is very similar to Gor, but much better as it provides sacrifice fodder but is also controllable. It can provide deathwatch procs and can be a huge nuisance if not the most annoying thing to have to play around as you cannot play the positions you would want to while this card is around. Filling all the spaces near your general won’t get rid of this card, only dispel and hard removal will.
Really annoying card, I don’t think it should be able to do everything it can for 2 mana or even 3.
I don’t think Songhai absolutely needs 2 drops at the moment so if anyone includes one in a midrange hai deck, it has to have a very relevant ability. Being able to move more spaces when on a mana tile is not only hard to accomplish but in the end, irrelevant.
I can’t really think of a way to improve this card, it is probably best to start over from scratch or at least think of a minion that is somehow related to movement and mana. The lore is definitely very cool though, so don’t be disheartened, you will think of something.
I think that is it. If I didn’t mention your card it was probably because:
I hope you got something out of this 3 part commentary on all of your great card ideas as it took me about 2 hours to write up. Feel free to mention anything you found particularly interesting about what I said or maybe something that was entirely wrong.
If anyone wants, I would always appreciate some critique on my card as well or perhaps even ways to improve it. Thank you all for your time.
I don’t even know how I actually missed this entire interaction (besides the fact that I’ve never played strategos Brome) but after seeing this, definitely gonna reword and change it.
Is this too OP? Rok the Awful is a 1 mana 4/4 that can’t move, and without synergy this is a 4 mana 7/7 that can’t move with Frenzy. Technically that should be fair (because +3/+3 and +3 cost from Rok, and +Frenzy to make it actually good). But is it too powerful because it is fair without any synergy, and way better with synergy? Let’s vote:
0 voters
I have finished my three post critique on most people’s cards higher up in this thread. Feel free to take a look even if you were not mentioned.
I fIxEd MiNe
thank you for you feedback!
you are right, it was pretty scary putting this on magmar. this thing does proc frenzy minions twice and it does proc thunderhorn like crazy. maybe it’s better as 7 mana? i found the buff unnecessary since magmar already has solid minions on top of their own buffs, but maybe a small stat buff and mana adjustment would make it a viable utility tool for furnace decks.
You think it would be a good idea to tweak this into a 6 mana abyssian card?
they do have moonrider that needs a bike too, and i think they could use a card that they can use side-by-side with cadence.
The main thing I’m worrying about is the thing @loliconartist stated, it’s an on curve play after Makantor. Any deck having 6 makantors worries me.
@deathsadvocate, wording is also a concern. There is no “units” term in Duelyst, just “minions” and “generals”.
@anjosustrakr, I would also probably even make it “OG: summon a creep tile beneath this” on top of already existing design, but I may be biased, since I’m an Abyssian main.
Dying Wish or Death Watch? Which keyword you mean? I guess the former, please correct.
CuRvE iS cOoL
Actually, I really like your card as well, and I simply overlooked it. I even gave you a like in the contest thread after you posted it, which is my way of highlighting interesting entries.
I meant Dying wish; I’ve corrected it now.
Thanks!
Thanks for the review!
Perfection in uselessness, that’s my jam.
May I humbly ask for some feedback? I really want to get selected by the judges this time. 
7 mana blood surge is very slow. Also this card is a win more card, if you can utilise it to its fullest you are probably on the winning position already.
Making it much less costly will probably make it OP.
Thus I don’t like the very core of the design, sadly.
Given what late game Duelyst has currently, this card is underwhelming. Sorry, I can’t give any upgrade suggestions since I feel the design is flawed from the very beginning.
You may argue, maybe I don’t see anything.